Dance, Dance, Dance

Happy New Year! Today’s inspirations:

• Eager Anticipation from yesterday’s church service

• Song Lyrics by Lady Gaga

• New Journal for the New Year

• Fight Club with my son on New Year’s Eve

• A really long nap on New Year’s Eve

• My Prayer for You and Me and All of Us This Year

Eager Anticipation from yesterday’s church service

I grew up in the church and then spent about 20 years or more away from the church. I thought they were judgemental and I thoroughly judged them for it. The irony was lost on me. Somehow, I didn’t see how much that made me a hypocrite. My husband had to point it out to me and from then on, I accepted that maybe church with the hypocrites was where I was supposed to be. I made my peace with how much like them I was, and have been finding the nuggets of beauty again in regular church attendance, fellowship, and Bible study. And of course, trying to learn to be like Jesus, and less judgy.

I will admit that it terrifies me to align myself with a group that can come across so hateful in the public sphere towards anyone who is different. I am different. I am an artist, and my friends are artists and quite colorful in their life choices. I didn’t want to ever get to the point where I alienate my artist friends or make them think I would judge them. I want everyone to flourish in their art and their lives.

It took a long conversation with my retired pastor dad to set my heart at peace that I can love my artist friends and everything about them. And I can love my Christian friends, my Buddhist friends, my Muslim friends, my Agnostic and Atheist friends. The point is to love everyone exactly where they are. That’s what God has done for me. We are to be known for our love. Unfortunately, we have become known for our judgement of society and that is not what God asks of us. We can do better.

To be in a state of perpetual eager anticipation for what God has in store for us is becoming more of something I appreciate and enjoy.

On this first day of the new year, I am filled with eager anticipation, believing that there is something good in store for me in 2024 - something that is well planned out to suite me, something that my God has under control and will reveal in His perfect timing. That may not be “business sense” today - but it is what I am staking my claim on, and I believe the job that is out there for me will be His perfect plan.

Song Lyrics from Lady Gaga

I'll dance, dance, dance
With my hands, hands, hands
Above my head, head, head
Like Jesus said
I'm gonna dance, dance, dance
With my hands, hands, hands above my head

On Thursday, December 28th, 2023, the day I was let go from my job, I ended up having the time to drive to Eugene to have our dog looked at by a specialist. He is a giant ten month old Rottweiler puppy who has hip dysplasia and will need a bone replacement surgery in January. What came as a shock was that he also has dysplasia in his arms and shoulders, and there is no cure for that, just expensive, ongoing treatments for the rest of his life. He is such a sweet dog. We have to consider if doing this surgery is the best thing for him, or if letting him go would be the kinder alternative. Heavy stuff.

As I was driving home again, I was listening to random music because I was out of range for my normal radio station. A Lady Gaga song came on, that I could sing along to even though she is not in my normal play list. Something about the dance hall quality of this song, the sing-song nature, the mesmerizing beat, and the positive vibe has had this song in my head for the last several days.

It feels a little reckless, and maybe that’s the appeal. I do want to dance the New Year in - with my hands in the air. Not like I just don’t care, because there are other lyrics for that. I care deeply. There are hard decisions to be made around our darling puppy. There are decisions and sacrifices needed in the coming year as I search for a new job. But, I won’t be moping about any of it. I will be joyful and dance my way through the ups and downs inherent in this journey.

New Journal for the New Year

Of course I bought a new journal for the New Year. If I’d been ahead of the game, this would already be in my possession, and I’d be currently filling in goals and objectives. But, it’s been a bit of a year. There were so many ups and downs, I lost track of whether we were having a good day or a bad day. Honestly, 2023 was a doozy.

So I only just purchased this last night and it will be arriving in the next couple of days. Oh, yeah! I’m not working right now, so I have all the time in the world to wait! Ha.

It has a Debossed Vegan Leather cover which will feel good in my hands. Why, oh, why are planners so enticing? All those pages to fill with hopes and dreams and the feeling that we can somehow control our lives with colorful pens and jaunty stickers. It’s a sickness. Just like creating binders for all the things, and lining them up on shelves looking oh, so organized.

Colorful anything makes my soul happy. Colorful journals, the pens and markers to fill them, the highlighters. My giant office white board and markers to fill that with plans and visions for creating. I love All the Colors! And I love pretending that I’m organized by having a delicious journal.

Fight Club with my son on New Year’s Eve

Fight Club is a favorite movie at our house and my teenagers and I will watch it periodically. We always get something new from it. It is a wacked movie to be sure, not for everyone. Maybe not for most. But we love it.

Last night the line about only after we’ve lost everything are we free to do anything - that one struck me. I haven’t lost everything. I’ve only lost my job. And there are many others out there who have it way worse. But, with the loss of a job, we get to start making choices for ourselves about which way to go next, and that is exciting. I’m excited to celebrate new adventures around the corner.

A Really Long Nap on New Year’s Eve

This last several months have been very sleep deprived for me. I was up late into the night, up early, working all the time trying to make a new job work. I lost 30 pounds accidentally. I didn’t even know I was doing it until my clothes stopped fitting. I was not eating from stress instead of boredom eating as I’d been doing previously. Clearly, a little balance on my part would be a good thing.

Something to think about with a new job - is it setting new people up for success with good onboarding? Does it have realistic expectations? Is work/life balance truly a priority or not?

Anyway, I got tired on Sunday afternoon, and had the best nap in a long time. It was so cozy and warm. And with the next day off, I didn’t worry about getting my days and nights mixed up. I just slept until I was ready to wake up. Sleep is so good for us. If we aren’t sleeping well and making that good rest a priority, we end up foggy and befuddled and everything is harder the next day.

My Prayer for You and Me and All of Us This Year

That we find joy on purpose - in the air we breathe - in the songs we hear - the shows that are familiar to us and get us excited - in the communities we choose - in sleep and rest and revitalization - in good food - and warm hugs.